Saturday, May 2, 2009 @ 1:58 PM
alright is currently 4.58am , my mind has been rushing through lots of things till i finally decided to come blogging , somehow and somewhat i wna a change for my life , yes i mean it this time round . thinking back , the moment i told you i wants to give you up till now i guess is been 1week and yet im still in the circle which consist of you , not jumping out of the boundaries yet , i gotta say a yes , i miss you definitely lots but it seems like im tired yet i dnt know how to give you up , sometimes i seriously hates you , hates knowing you and started this whole piece of shit but somehow w.o you , my life wouldnt had been so colourful before , so memoriable , you may say is just a short period of time but know what ? you're the 1st that makes me felt so happy ever before my past 15years of life , till now NONE had really make me felt so great before . now im just like one who is stuck in th middle of the jungle/forest , if i continue going on it wil makes me going deeper and deeper yet maybe i will found some place to settle down , taking risk & if i turn back and walk back it stops me from getting deeper but i had to spend time finding the exit which i dont even knows how to so is rather contracdicting , how great would it be if at this moment of time there would be someone who could lead me out of this , yes im waiting this someone but i guess i got to wait for a longlonglong time ... im sick of waiting , im sick of all those parts and parcels about love , tell me , whats so great about love ?im once a typical girl who longs to be loved who felt love is great and love is everything . once thought of finding a guy who can give me everythings i long for , care , supports , secure , protective , laughters , happiness all about a ideal life partner but yet thats not what i've gotten in this path. in fact i've dropped into a different path which not ones normally will goes to & tears , sadness , dream , just mainly tears after tears and still it is tears .. i've lost the belief , the once beautiful thing called "love " to me now is shattered into pieces and yes i've decided im not going to believe in it anymore , im not gna let it pull me down , i hate it , i detest it and i will never falls into it so easily and dumb anymore , fcukit , I DETEST LOVE. yes thats my conclusion after this whole night , laughs is now 5.13am , ppl are getting up to work i guess ? but i feel like going my house nearby bball court to shoot-.- crazy me but im really seriously boring and thats the only way i thought of to stop thinking about things ..feeling damn .. oh whatever i dont know how to say im lost in words to describe bout it.
and god damn it im somehow missing my long hair hahaha . but somehow i find my short hair is okay and i've done many quizzes in my facebook one of it says that my hair is my everything and wth ? my hair now sucks to the core , alright nvm give it 2yrs i dont blieve till 2yrs it will not reach my shoulder length , times is everything . ohyes i've come to why i couldnt sleep right ? haha cos today my idiot headache acts up and i eat the medicine that let me sleep throughout the whole damn day , wasted-.- and nw i cnt sleep and somehow i just comes to a conclusion of stop loving , stop everything and yes being good to others is cruel to yourself , oh god how silly can i be ? im just a stupid girl , i shldnt have been thinking too much im not one deserve to be loved , im not good looking and im not great in anything , stupidity is what great in me , just so i shld just shudup and die alone in this world . fuck me off from this sucking world that dont suits me .
Labels: i suck., low in IQ n EQ but high in stupidity n thats me
Twelve's
♥ドラえもん
I've the greatest MUMMY on earth♥
“Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life”
-Epictetus quotes -That's me
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